is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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