is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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