I bet he comes in French.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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