the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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