Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i've created a new STD.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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