I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
