it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
