Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
