So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
