i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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