Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
