I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
