She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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