you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
