those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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