If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
