dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
