what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
