Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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