She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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