I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
