Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
