Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
