you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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