Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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