I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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