watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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