maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
