erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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