it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We left the knife in your bed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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