if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am one with the molecules
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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