would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
