I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
