Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
