Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
