you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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