My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize