Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
