I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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