Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
