question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
