She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
