Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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