Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
