she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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