Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
