So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
