I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
