I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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