My nipple is on Facebook.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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